Posts Tagged ‘loneliness’

Keeping Faith

In In my mind on February 19, 2012 at 11:01 am

When everything seems dull and hopeless. When everyone is telling you it’s useless. There is always something deep inside you that pushes you to keep on with your beliefs.

That little push is the faith in you. At times the whole world might be against you, times harder than ever and hope as thin as a hair but you still feel you can do something. This is faith!

Why am I writing about this? Because recently, it has and is still occurring to me to face such situations rather regularly.

Ever since I remember, I’ve been quite stubborn but then I learnt it is also called perseverance. I will not give in until I personally feel that all hope is gone.

At times it might look like I’m only silently tolerating or ignoring things but I am not! I just believe that every issue has its solution but it’s not necessary that it crops up right now…

I might be going through hard days but there is still that little flame of hope burning inside of me. It does flicker, it does lose its intensity at times but nevertheless, it never goes out.

It sure feels tiresome from time to time and that’s when I crash and totally burn in the agony of helplessness and the unknown.

However, faith always comes back. It is involuntary, almost innate. I’ve always ‘worked’ that way. Somewhere, some how, something will happen and things will sort out. That’s also why I keep looking for answers by observing this world on a different level. Sometimes to get out of deep mazes, all you need is a different view…

Hence, I just figured out that keeping faith is a part of me, whether I accept it or not. My mind and heart are conditioned in that way. They might drown in despair but still hang on with a faint hope, just in case.

I tend to think that I keep the flame of faith low just to avoid being burned by over-confidence and later on disappointment.

And this is how I always smile because I know deep down that for every storm, there’ll be a sunny day that follows…

Being your own healer

In General thoughts on January 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

It’s too easy to depend on others to give us that cure we need to feel better. It’s also too damaging for relationships you share with those people.

Why damaging? Because the more you depend on someone, the more you’ll need that person by your side and when he/she is caught up somewhere, you’ll feel abandoned and lost. It gradually fills up bitterness and makes you doubt the feelings of that person.

I am not voicing out that you should reject the compassion or support of a close one. On contrary, having the care and love of our dear ones gives us those wings we need to fly higher. Yet, becoming dependent on them makes those wings weak.

Hence, at times, it’s good to be self-dependent and find cures to our sorrows on our own. In the end, you might as well be very surprised as you’ll not only be your own healer but others’ too!

Besides, this universe is so vast and huge, learn to connect with it and never feel lonely again. If you awake to those cosmic energies (no, I haven’t smoked weeds), you’ll find that healing strength on your own. It’s all scientific in nature. We are made up of energy that keeps us alive and energy flows all around us in different forms. Synchronising ourselves to those energies, helps us to be in phase with them and hence feel stronger and no more lonely.

I know, some of you might be asking « But how do we connect to those energies??? » I’d really like to explain it to you but my level of experience is limited for the time being. All I can do for now is guide you and share this with you.

The first step maybe should be a willingness to search for yourself, deep inside and seek for that strength that lies deep in you, waiting to be released. It does take time and patience. Develop the values of humility, love and peace and learn to appreciate this world and what it offers. Let your mind accept differences and develop tolerance. Forget jealousy, anger and hatred. See how useless it is to get lost in the maze of anxieties and rage. Above all, see the preciousness of life itself and feel that urge to make the most of it as long as you are alive!

My Punishment

In In my mind on December 1, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Each time the pangs of loneliness come hitting hard on me, I think of you. How you would tell me how lonely you were without me around.

Today, ironically, I feel that loneliness too. My pain is worse though as I’m surrounded by so many of my own but I still feel the wrath of loneliness over me. Maybe it’s meant for me to receive the punishment I deserve.

If today I cry alone, it is not for that pain in me but for the one I caused to you. My heart cries for the torments I put you through.

I am your culprit, I am the guilty one. And strangely this thought makes me accept my plight with a relieved mind. This is my punishment for leaving you behind, my punishment for letting you aside, my punishment for having been your reason to cry…

Loneliness at its best

In General thoughts on August 18, 2011 at 7:43 pm

One of my biggest fears in life has always been loneliness. I think it is a sequel of having been an only child for 5 years but that is another story.

However, recently, I’ve been experiencing loneliness in a different angle. “Face your fears and live your dreams” – the saying goes and maybe unconsciously, this is what I’m trying to do.

Anyway, I’ve found an unexpected inner peace in spending some time alone, with only myself as companion. Silence becomes the best soothing music and my mind finds itself free to let go.

It’s as if loneliness has transformed itself as a gateway to freedom. A special time of reflection, where I can actually review myself – a self audit 😛 . “What can I do to make my life better? How do I plan future things? What are my priorities now? What direction should I take? How can I become a better person?” It’s mostly putting myself in perspective, like taking a step back to envisage where I’ve come and where do I go now.

I mentioned a gateway to freedom because it is also a gift for imaginative minds. Time on your own allows you to dive freely into that pool of thoughts and immerse completely, traveling very far – real escapism! Then of course, you need to have control on the mind, not to lose the grasp about what’s reality and what’s imaginary.

Being alone also allows me to discover and observe life and things around me in a different light. Then only do I see those details that give sense to the big picture. It’s a bit like contemplating a huge puzzle and finding out which piece fits where…

Loneliness is therefore becoming a kind of refuge,where I can find myself. It brings comfort in a way, whereby after hectic days, you finally find some time of your own to focus about you. It is not being self centered but mostly to auto evaluate yourself and also to withdraw from this ‘oh so busy’ world to find some peace and refresh your mind.