Posts Tagged ‘life’

The best man in a daughter’s life

In General thoughts, In my mind on July 28, 2012 at 6:27 am

I remember when I was in secondary school and yet another academic year was about to resume, my dad asked me if I got new shoes for school. I told him that mum said no need to buy new ones as mine from last year were still fine. Dad then replied “As long as I’m alive, I will be able to buy you new things. Let’s go…”

I know it might sound like materialistic or a typical example of  consumerism but what I saw, me, was totally different. I wasn’t interested in the new shoes (well not that much 😛 ) but rather in that affection my dad had just shown. It touched me so much that it still lingers in my memories.

Looking back on life today, I feel so lucky to have had such a caring and loving dad. For sure we’ve had lots of arguments, disagreements and angry moments but that’s part of every relationship, isn’t it?

Today I know it and I feel it, my dad is proud of us, his daughters, and he’s always been giving us all comforts he couldn’t get in his own youth.

He might not be a perfect person. He is sure filled with principles – each one more strict than the other – yet this is what made us who we are. Besides, I can’t deny that I’ve also imbibed some of his principles as mine…

My dad might not have finished his secondary studies and has no tertiary education either but the values and culture he taught us, was and is the most precious of all education a child could receive.

We have never really been sharing openly or talked about our feelings, my dad and I. Yet, I know how much he loves us. If we feel special like princesses in our home, it’s because he has always pampered us, cared for us and protected us with all his might and courage.

A girl’s father is and will always remain the best man in her life. He’s the only one who won’t ever break her heart and stand by her side till his last breath. Maybe one day, when I’ll feel it is the right time, I’ll tell my dad to read this as a tribute to his precious love and care…

That Winter Feeling

In In my mind on April 28, 2012 at 11:55 am

Every year, it’s the same feeling, the same sweet sensation of welcoming winter with those very first cold mornings and that chilly breeze in the evening…

It brings back old memories together with the announcement of the best month (for me) to come – May. It makes me smile and feel nostalgic also.

When comes winter, comes the reminiscence of school days where school blazers were out, mock exams were nearing and night time had already come when tuition was over.

There are also memories of university days where courses were ending, exam time tables issued and classrooms re-arranged for exam purpose. There was excitement about holidays that were to come, lots of planning with friends as well as lots of group meeting for so-called group revision 🙂 . Winter also brings the thought of cold winter nights spent revising…

The ‘Winter Feeling’ is also that sweet feeling of May coming up with its load of birthdays, shopping and special occasions to celebrate! This time of the year always brings a kind of sweetness in the atmosphere. Maybe it is the same for us all, when it’s our month of the year, we feel a bit more secure, a bit happier, a bit more special…

Among the clouds

In Events, In my mind on April 21, 2012 at 4:53 am

Classical music resounding in the ears, clouds of all sizes for only sight against a wonderfully blue sky…

Yes, I have finally taken flight among those puffy white clouds I’m used to contemplate while on land!

The moment I felt the plane leave the tarmac, I couldn’t help but smile heartily. All the fears and anxieties gave way to excitement and joy. I was literally like a small kid discovering Disneyland!

For a few seconds I got somewhat emotional with teary eyes as the thought of experiencing such a wonderful moment and that too all alone, cropped up.

However, as the splendid view of our blue lagoon displayed in front of me and the plane began to soar up among those oh so beloved clouds, I felt like life was just great!

I was up to discover new horizons on my very own, I would be living a new chapter of my life!

I smiled again as I felt so lucky all at once. Life’s good, really good! And high above in those skies, wrapped in the whiteness of the clouds, I felt a bit changed…

Am I faking it?

In General thoughts on March 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

No, guys, this is not about orgasms, really sorry for the ‘inconvenience’ (hehe :p ). This is mostly a reflexion about how one can feel calm and happy despite troubles, worries and deceptions in life.

The thought actually came to me when I had a conversation with a friend. It happens to some people to develop a non-violent attitude during adverse situations and still come out of these fully contented with life.

The question arose whether such attitude is not only a consequence of suppressing one’s anger, frustration or pain which later on can burst out suddenly.

Quite elusive, I’d say, so I went on some self-introspection (as usual 🙂 ). Amazed myself, by this strange calmness and happiness that I feel even if times have been bad, I began to wonder whether I’m faking it or not. Am I doing it on purpose to feel happy and suppress negative feelings?

The answer came in some reading I did. It is absolutely possible to go through hardships and still remain calm and joyful once you’ve accepted that what is happening is part of your life’s journey. Besides, it takes to have a different perception of things. If I had limited myself to the dark and sad side of the situation, I’d be long lost into depression. However, I’ve developed a need to analyse situations in every angle, specially their bright ones. This is also where the different people in your life become crucial. Each individual has a different approach to life and I’ve been able to learn from that.

Hence, I’m not faking it. Every emotion is real and my happiness is genuine. I’m not saying that I’m not hurt but my joy and satisfaction to be alive is far beyond my pain. Besides, every hardship in life is meant to show us that everything’s not granted or given and if you’ve overcome it, you’ve come further from being a simple human being to a knowledgeable and stronger one.

Keeping Faith

In In my mind on February 19, 2012 at 11:01 am

When everything seems dull and hopeless. When everyone is telling you it’s useless. There is always something deep inside you that pushes you to keep on with your beliefs.

That little push is the faith in you. At times the whole world might be against you, times harder than ever and hope as thin as a hair but you still feel you can do something. This is faith!

Why am I writing about this? Because recently, it has and is still occurring to me to face such situations rather regularly.

Ever since I remember, I’ve been quite stubborn but then I learnt it is also called perseverance. I will not give in until I personally feel that all hope is gone.

At times it might look like I’m only silently tolerating or ignoring things but I am not! I just believe that every issue has its solution but it’s not necessary that it crops up right now…

I might be going through hard days but there is still that little flame of hope burning inside of me. It does flicker, it does lose its intensity at times but nevertheless, it never goes out.

It sure feels tiresome from time to time and that’s when I crash and totally burn in the agony of helplessness and the unknown.

However, faith always comes back. It is involuntary, almost innate. I’ve always ‘worked’ that way. Somewhere, some how, something will happen and things will sort out. That’s also why I keep looking for answers by observing this world on a different level. Sometimes to get out of deep mazes, all you need is a different view…

Hence, I just figured out that keeping faith is a part of me, whether I accept it or not. My mind and heart are conditioned in that way. They might drown in despair but still hang on with a faint hope, just in case.

I tend to think that I keep the flame of faith low just to avoid being burned by over-confidence and later on disappointment.

And this is how I always smile because I know deep down that for every storm, there’ll be a sunny day that follows…

The Pleasure of Giving

In General thoughts, In my mind on February 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm

When you see life the way I do, that strong urge to give to others just to see their face radiate with joy, is inevitable.

How and why, these questions I can’t answer. It often occurs to me to wonder why I am so different, why does this need to reach for others’ happiness keep growing? I’ve given up finding the answer because in the end, giving to others is not a burden at all.

Maybe I always feel like we are all so engrossed in striving for our way through life that we easily forget the small pleasures we can derive from it. After all, what’s the use of living if you can’t smile, if you can’t love and if you can’t find any bright light shining on you?

Hence, that pleasure I derive in giving to others. It makes the world, even if it is not the whole of it, but the one around me, a happier and jollier one. I don’t do it for attention, I do it because it is a need I have to fulfill and get the satisfaction that my life didn’t go to waste. In life, we can achieve great materialistic heights but if we can’t make simple little things count, we would have spent an empty, meaningless life.

And this is also what gives me pleasure in giving away. It is the possibility to make one simple thing – a flower, a chocolate bar, a candle or anything so simple, even a smile – become the expression of sweet affection and love. It is giving the phrase,  “It’s the thought that counts“, it’s real meaning.

Actually writing this article isn’t meant to boast about me but again to share about it. Sometimes when you feel so different from others, the mind and heart seek to be heard and understood. This blog is a means to voice it out. No matter if no one reads or a few do. Putting in words what I feel and what I go through makes it a relief to have expressed what’s inside my head…

Being your own healer

In General thoughts on January 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

It’s too easy to depend on others to give us that cure we need to feel better. It’s also too damaging for relationships you share with those people.

Why damaging? Because the more you depend on someone, the more you’ll need that person by your side and when he/she is caught up somewhere, you’ll feel abandoned and lost. It gradually fills up bitterness and makes you doubt the feelings of that person.

I am not voicing out that you should reject the compassion or support of a close one. On contrary, having the care and love of our dear ones gives us those wings we need to fly higher. Yet, becoming dependent on them makes those wings weak.

Hence, at times, it’s good to be self-dependent and find cures to our sorrows on our own. In the end, you might as well be very surprised as you’ll not only be your own healer but others’ too!

Besides, this universe is so vast and huge, learn to connect with it and never feel lonely again. If you awake to those cosmic energies (no, I haven’t smoked weeds), you’ll find that healing strength on your own. It’s all scientific in nature. We are made up of energy that keeps us alive and energy flows all around us in different forms. Synchronising ourselves to those energies, helps us to be in phase with them and hence feel stronger and no more lonely.

I know, some of you might be asking « But how do we connect to those energies??? » I’d really like to explain it to you but my level of experience is limited for the time being. All I can do for now is guide you and share this with you.

The first step maybe should be a willingness to search for yourself, deep inside and seek for that strength that lies deep in you, waiting to be released. It does take time and patience. Develop the values of humility, love and peace and learn to appreciate this world and what it offers. Let your mind accept differences and develop tolerance. Forget jealousy, anger and hatred. See how useless it is to get lost in the maze of anxieties and rage. Above all, see the preciousness of life itself and feel that urge to make the most of it as long as you are alive!

2011 – “I hate you, like I love you”

In General thoughts, In my mind on December 30, 2011 at 7:11 am

While people have been dreading 2012 for its prophesied end of the world, I’ve myself personally experienced the end of a world – mine more specifically. However, we tend to forget that every ending brings along new beginnings.

Hence 2011 brought about a terrible crash that slowly made me realise how life can be more beautiful once you’ve burnt, hurt and felt the true reality of it. It is often said that you can’t realise the value of what you have until you lose it. It is indeed true. Harsh times wake you up and forge your inner strength.

Life is that on-going training you receive to face whatever is coming ahead and the more you realise yourself and awaken your inner self, you find the way to follow to brightness and happiness.

With 2011 ending soon, I feel strangely more at peace with myself than I’d think. The bitter sorrows have faded to sweet contentment. Sure there are reasons for this to happen but the journey to that peace of mind wasn’t smooth at all. It is the relief you feel after going through storms, hurricanes, fires and crashes and realise that you can actually survive it all and that you’re not totally alone.

God helps those who help themselves. Indeed it is true, I’ve experienced it. I’ve been blessed with very special people who have been there to help the re-building of my lost world. Today, it is the best refuge I’ve ever had. I learnt about being on my own, about being my own support first and I’ve seen that sparkle in me die to revive as a stronger and brighter one.

Hence, I might very well say that I’m thankful for the pain and hard times. It came as an opportunity for self-discovery and transformation. Luckily I found treasured assistance from angels that came along my path. I’ve been hurt and pained but today I feel the preciousness of life and the intense joy of living it for it also gifted me with most wonderful times of my life. Farewell 2011 and thank you again!

N.B: This article marks my last one for 2011 as well as my 100th on SouOnline. Thank you beautiful people who inspire me and make life a gift to appreciate everyday !!!

Defining Bliss

In General thoughts on December 22, 2011 at 7:27 am

Photography courtesy of Kamlesh Jeeneea

Once again, I will not attempt to preach or deliver some discourse about any mysterious truth of life.

I will simply define the feeling of full satisfaction with life that one simple girl like me has and is experiencing.

No, bliss is not a myth nor is it impossible to attain and yes it involves living with a non-materialistic perspective.

I will not state that I’m fully out of the material world – yes I have cravings too! Yet, I’ve been able to find the silver line that demarks material and non-material life.

The most important factor would be to find peace inside of your mind. Peace does not mean having no worries. It means even if your life is troublesome (whose isn’t?) you are being able to accept it, deal with it and solve it with the best smile you’ve ever had. Some help and support are crucial in this endeavour. Therefore comes the second factor for bliss – love! Fill your heart with love, first for yourself then for others. Experience, then, its wonderful power. Don’t be mistaken though. Love is a deep value that this modern world has trivialised. Reach for the genuine one, that’s lying somewhere in a forgotten corner of your heart and let it free!

There you are, live it up now! Make the most of it. Seek for no more than the sweet feeling of contentment every morning you wake up till you sleep. No need for weeds brother 😉 It’s all inside of you, seek and find it! Bliss is the gift of appreciation you receive once you’ve found the beauty of being alive and human.

A moment lost in time

In In my mind on November 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm

For a few instants, let me take you to that moment where everything stops and stands still. That very point in time where you stop being part of the world but live in a particularly intense moment in your lifetime that’s gonna last forever no matter what.

Would you share it with me? Would you let all worries behind you, the time of a moment together?

There’s no particular preparation, come as you are. There’s no particular location,let’s be where you are. There are no particular words to say, let’s enjoy the very presence of each other.

This magical feeling won’t work with anyone but you. That special feeling of being captured in a lost moment, a moment that’s never to come again but that’s gonna remain in our minds always.

There’s no need for music, your voice is the sweetest melody right now. There’s no need for great food, your talks are all that would satiate me.  There’s no need for an extravagant venue, your presence makes any place the best place to be.

There’s no need for special bright lights, smile and make my world shine. There’s no need for any splendid view, the depth of your eyes is all that matters. There’s no need for perfect weather, having you next to me is the best season of the year.

So would you? Would you share this wonderful moment with me? Immersed in nothing but the very existence of you and me.

Give it a try and see how fine it is to be. Give me just this moment to be fully lost and ever happy…