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Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

The best man in a daughter’s life

In General thoughts, In my mind on July 28, 2012 at 6:27 am

I remember when I was in secondary school and yet another academic year was about to resume, my dad asked me if I got new shoes for school. I told him that mum said no need to buy new ones as mine from last year were still fine. Dad then replied “As long as I’m alive, I will be able to buy you new things. Let’s go…”

I know it might sound like materialistic or a typical example of  consumerism but what I saw, me, was totally different. I wasn’t interested in the new shoes (well not that much 😛 ) but rather in that affection my dad had just shown. It touched me so much that it still lingers in my memories.

Looking back on life today, I feel so lucky to have had such a caring and loving dad. For sure we’ve had lots of arguments, disagreements and angry moments but that’s part of every relationship, isn’t it?

Today I know it and I feel it, my dad is proud of us, his daughters, and he’s always been giving us all comforts he couldn’t get in his own youth.

He might not be a perfect person. He is sure filled with principles – each one more strict than the other – yet this is what made us who we are. Besides, I can’t deny that I’ve also imbibed some of his principles as mine…

My dad might not have finished his secondary studies and has no tertiary education either but the values and culture he taught us, was and is the most precious of all education a child could receive.

We have never really been sharing openly or talked about our feelings, my dad and I. Yet, I know how much he loves us. If we feel special like princesses in our home, it’s because he has always pampered us, cared for us and protected us with all his might and courage.

A girl’s father is and will always remain the best man in her life. He’s the only one who won’t ever break her heart and stand by her side till his last breath. Maybe one day, when I’ll feel it is the right time, I’ll tell my dad to read this as a tribute to his precious love and care…

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That Winter Feeling

In In my mind on April 28, 2012 at 11:55 am

Every year, it’s the same feeling, the same sweet sensation of welcoming winter with those very first cold mornings and that chilly breeze in the evening…

It brings back old memories together with the announcement of the best month (for me) to come – May. It makes me smile and feel nostalgic also.

When comes winter, comes the reminiscence of school days where school blazers were out, mock exams were nearing and night time had already come when tuition was over.

There are also memories of university days where courses were ending, exam time tables issued and classrooms re-arranged for exam purpose. There was excitement about holidays that were to come, lots of planning with friends as well as lots of group meeting for so-called group revision 🙂 . Winter also brings the thought of cold winter nights spent revising…

The ‘Winter Feeling’ is also that sweet feeling of May coming up with its load of birthdays, shopping and special occasions to celebrate! This time of the year always brings a kind of sweetness in the atmosphere. Maybe it is the same for us all, when it’s our month of the year, we feel a bit more secure, a bit happier, a bit more special…

Am I faking it?

In General thoughts on March 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

No, guys, this is not about orgasms, really sorry for the ‘inconvenience’ (hehe :p ). This is mostly a reflexion about how one can feel calm and happy despite troubles, worries and deceptions in life.

The thought actually came to me when I had a conversation with a friend. It happens to some people to develop a non-violent attitude during adverse situations and still come out of these fully contented with life.

The question arose whether such attitude is not only a consequence of suppressing one’s anger, frustration or pain which later on can burst out suddenly.

Quite elusive, I’d say, so I went on some self-introspection (as usual 🙂 ). Amazed myself, by this strange calmness and happiness that I feel even if times have been bad, I began to wonder whether I’m faking it or not. Am I doing it on purpose to feel happy and suppress negative feelings?

The answer came in some reading I did. It is absolutely possible to go through hardships and still remain calm and joyful once you’ve accepted that what is happening is part of your life’s journey. Besides, it takes to have a different perception of things. If I had limited myself to the dark and sad side of the situation, I’d be long lost into depression. However, I’ve developed a need to analyse situations in every angle, specially their bright ones. This is also where the different people in your life become crucial. Each individual has a different approach to life and I’ve been able to learn from that.

Hence, I’m not faking it. Every emotion is real and my happiness is genuine. I’m not saying that I’m not hurt but my joy and satisfaction to be alive is far beyond my pain. Besides, every hardship in life is meant to show us that everything’s not granted or given and if you’ve overcome it, you’ve come further from being a simple human being to a knowledgeable and stronger one.

My Punishment

In In my mind on December 1, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Each time the pangs of loneliness come hitting hard on me, I think of you. How you would tell me how lonely you were without me around.

Today, ironically, I feel that loneliness too. My pain is worse though as I’m surrounded by so many of my own but I still feel the wrath of loneliness over me. Maybe it’s meant for me to receive the punishment I deserve.

If today I cry alone, it is not for that pain in me but for the one I caused to you. My heart cries for the torments I put you through.

I am your culprit, I am the guilty one. And strangely this thought makes me accept my plight with a relieved mind. This is my punishment for leaving you behind, my punishment for letting you aside, my punishment for having been your reason to cry…

Loving – the guys’ way

In In my mind on November 30, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Even if guys have feelings and emotions, they have that wonderful ability to still think logically and separate emotions from practical living with amazing calm.

They might have a storm raging inside them but you’d hardly see it if they choose to hide it from you. Unless, the bond you share with them is strong to decipher them right from a look.

They might not go crazy and hazy like us, screaming and hopping when we fall in love (ok not all girls do that but still we go ecstatic) but they might be those who are intensely loving someone- may be more than us.

I completely admire that special trait of you guys. How you manage to keep your composure in front of her, how you keep your calm and act so cool even if there’s an urge to tell what you feel. I think it’s the harder way to love, yet you do it so well.

And that’s actually how you identify true love in guys. The one they feel silently, the one they first take time to assimilate for themselves, the one that invades them but over which they have full control.

Then the day they step forward to spell it out, it comes like a wind of fresh air that surprises you on a very warm day. There’s no way to run from it or hide from it. The intentions are so pure and heartfelt that you are bound to melt.

Loving the guys’ way is intensely beautiful: a mixture of passion, patience, tenderness and calm. It’s that one state of mind that makes a man/guy the best person he could be as he’s discovered what real love can be…

A moment lost in time

In In my mind on November 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm

For a few instants, let me take you to that moment where everything stops and stands still. That very point in time where you stop being part of the world but live in a particularly intense moment in your lifetime that’s gonna last forever no matter what.

Would you share it with me? Would you let all worries behind you, the time of a moment together?

There’s no particular preparation, come as you are. There’s no particular location,let’s be where you are. There are no particular words to say, let’s enjoy the very presence of each other.

This magical feeling won’t work with anyone but you. That special feeling of being captured in a lost moment, a moment that’s never to come again but that’s gonna remain in our minds always.

There’s no need for music, your voice is the sweetest melody right now. There’s no need for great food, your talks are all that would satiate me.  There’s no need for an extravagant venue, your presence makes any place the best place to be.

There’s no need for special bright lights, smile and make my world shine. There’s no need for any splendid view, the depth of your eyes is all that matters. There’s no need for perfect weather, having you next to me is the best season of the year.

So would you? Would you share this wonderful moment with me? Immersed in nothing but the very existence of you and me.

Give it a try and see how fine it is to be. Give me just this moment to be fully lost and ever happy…

More than a friend, yet not a lover

In In my mind on November 16, 2011 at 9:49 am

You’ve been one of those surprises of life

Which unfold themselves slowly with time,

Evoking admiration, affection and decline

For yet another person in my heart.

Yet you’ve been that light and shine,

That support when I’ve been hanging on the line,

That wish for staying a bit more alive,

That reason that made me smile…

This might seem like a love declaration,

Yes, it is but I wish it to remain pure,

To keep its innocence and initial essence

As my love for you is only sweet affection.

How do we describe it, how is it called,

This I’m not being able to decide.

In such short time, we’ve been laughing,

Crying and sharing so much emotions.

It might be this emotional fool in me

That’s making all this fuss about you and me,

Yet now that our ways are to part,

To you I had to pour my heart.

Thank you for the sunny days,

The smile on your face,

And the deep look in your eyes.

All those special things that make you

More than a friend, yet not a lover…

Caught in a maze

In In my mind on October 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm

How do you react when you are submerged by thousands of thoughts of only one person? How can you possibly always crave to hear his/her voice or get just one lil peak of him/her to feel at least appeased from this huge thirst in you? When no matter who you are with, life seems boring because he/she is not around, what do you actually do?

What is this kind of maze you’re stuck in? When life seems so wonderful all at once and yet incomplete until you’ve heard from him/her.

It is like a strange addiction. Unless you’ve had your daily dose, you can’t be at peace with yourself. It makes you both strong and useless. It lifts you to the skies and throws you back with a big thud to Earth.

The feelings are so intense, your heart and mind find no synchronisation with each other. You feel like bursting with emotions, both happy and sad!

It gives you strength to rule the world but also scares you to the core with its intensity. There is a very deep feeling of being at peace with your inner self. There can’t be anything better than being you and the way it makes you feel confident and powerful is really amazing.

How can only one single person evoke all this in you? What do you do eventually? How do you retain yourself, how do you control this whirlwind of emotions? Who is to win here, your heart or your mind?

This thing, whatever it is, however it is, whatever name you may give to it, is sure driving me crazy. Yet, if it was a dream, I’d rather never wake up. As the song goes – “stuck in a maze, stumbled and bewildered”, this is actually when you find the best thing about you and it’s in someone else that you’ve found it…

What’s nice about guys

In General thoughts on September 19, 2011 at 4:01 pm

If you still think that guys are only rough and tough then maybe you should review that idea of yours ( hmmm except maybe for Chuck Norris).

Even if girls are more prone to being emotional, guys have their own special way to show their soft side ( at least those who dare to do so).

I might not be able to talk on behalf of all girls, but believe me guys, it’s always so charming to see that side of yours. It’s actually quite reassuring to see that you do have feelings and if you do, it means you can be understanding towards us.

It’s always so cute to see them crack jokes and then look at you laughing at it with a little hint of admiration in their eyes. Or when they would purposely show you things that would make you go “Aaaw” and then stealthily  (or so they think 😛 ) look at that lovely  smile they’ve brought on your face.

Not to mention their subtle way of pretending to listen to you when they are actually lost in the thought of how lucky they are that you are spending some time with them. Or when they have indeed listened to you, remembered those little things you said you like and later on surprise you with that.

There are also those who would notice you looking at them and nod, smile and wink at you. Besides, they also love this blush on your face when they have told you something nice or when you are actually smiling at their funny lines.

Guys are also very protective, no matter how much they deny it at times. And no matter how much independent a girl is, being shown some of this protective side, reassures her. After all, the first man in a girl’s life is her dad and when a guy starts being protective towards her, he tends to take that fatherly image. She feels safe and trustful towards him.

Finally, guys are also emotional, each in their own way and degree. When they feel like opening up to you, know that they are actually daring to show you what they consider as their weakest side. It’s then up to you girls to comfort them, take care of not breaking their trust and give reassurance that you still see in them the man they are.

Honestly then, the best thing about guys (and this is a personal opinion) is how they make you feel girlish, protected, respected, womanly and above all special. It doesn’t matter what relationship they entertain with you, true and genuine guys always make the women of their life feel special and loved.

Love is not in the air, it’s in the arts

In General thoughts on September 18, 2011 at 6:43 pm

I’ve always considered artists, in which ever field, as blessed people with the boon of being able to express emotions in the most splendid way.

Besides, art is a form of nature itself and the best artist of all is God. Humans have only been able to reproduce the beauty of nature but He created it all!

Coming to my post’s title, it is mostly a tribute to all those great artists may they be musicians, painters, lyricists or even film directors who have so beautifully embedded that sweet feeling of love in their works.

I personally view arts as the best expression of love may it be melancholy, nostalgia, passion or simple, innocent admiration. You won’t find better description of these else where.

Some art works are so genuine in the feelings they evoke in you that they never lose their quality and prevail from generations to generations.

At times we might tend to think of that special beauty and intensity of  feelings expressed in arts as a manipulation on the part of artists. After all, it is utopia that they are describing to us. In real life you won’t find such intensity or do you? Or maybe artists are able to give shape to those feelings which not all of us can.

Hence, the belief that artists are blessed ones. They have the chance (or misfortune some would say) to actually depict what’s going on in their heart and mind. They are able to convey their emotions and at the same time evoke the same in us. Real magicians who have brought to life its softness and helped us to find refuge in it.

May it be happy or sad, a real master piece reaches for your inner self and touches you for life. The beauty of art is that it is open to everyone, it only needs you to open up to your feelings and not be afraid to immerse in them. Even if emotions hurt, even if they can make us weak at times, they are the proofs of us being alive. Expressing them to others enhances life and creates deep bonds. Artists have that innate in them, they see the world differently and thanks to them, I see it too…