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Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

The best man in a daughter’s life

In General thoughts, In my mind on July 28, 2012 at 6:27 am

I remember when I was in secondary school and yet another academic year was about to resume, my dad asked me if I got new shoes for school. I told him that mum said no need to buy new ones as mine from last year were still fine. Dad then replied “As long as I’m alive, I will be able to buy you new things. Let’s go…”

I know it might sound like materialistic or a typical example of  consumerism but what I saw, me, was totally different. I wasn’t interested in the new shoes (well not that much 😛 ) but rather in that affection my dad had just shown. It touched me so much that it still lingers in my memories.

Looking back on life today, I feel so lucky to have had such a caring and loving dad. For sure we’ve had lots of arguments, disagreements and angry moments but that’s part of every relationship, isn’t it?

Today I know it and I feel it, my dad is proud of us, his daughters, and he’s always been giving us all comforts he couldn’t get in his own youth.

He might not be a perfect person. He is sure filled with principles – each one more strict than the other – yet this is what made us who we are. Besides, I can’t deny that I’ve also imbibed some of his principles as mine…

My dad might not have finished his secondary studies and has no tertiary education either but the values and culture he taught us, was and is the most precious of all education a child could receive.

We have never really been sharing openly or talked about our feelings, my dad and I. Yet, I know how much he loves us. If we feel special like princesses in our home, it’s because he has always pampered us, cared for us and protected us with all his might and courage.

A girl’s father is and will always remain the best man in her life. He’s the only one who won’t ever break her heart and stand by her side till his last breath. Maybe one day, when I’ll feel it is the right time, I’ll tell my dad to read this as a tribute to his precious love and care…

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That Winter Feeling

In In my mind on April 28, 2012 at 11:55 am

Every year, it’s the same feeling, the same sweet sensation of welcoming winter with those very first cold mornings and that chilly breeze in the evening…

It brings back old memories together with the announcement of the best month (for me) to come – May. It makes me smile and feel nostalgic also.

When comes winter, comes the reminiscence of school days where school blazers were out, mock exams were nearing and night time had already come when tuition was over.

There are also memories of university days where courses were ending, exam time tables issued and classrooms re-arranged for exam purpose. There was excitement about holidays that were to come, lots of planning with friends as well as lots of group meeting for so-called group revision 🙂 . Winter also brings the thought of cold winter nights spent revising…

The ‘Winter Feeling’ is also that sweet feeling of May coming up with its load of birthdays, shopping and special occasions to celebrate! This time of the year always brings a kind of sweetness in the atmosphere. Maybe it is the same for us all, when it’s our month of the year, we feel a bit more secure, a bit happier, a bit more special…

Am I faking it?

In General thoughts on March 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

No, guys, this is not about orgasms, really sorry for the ‘inconvenience’ (hehe :p ). This is mostly a reflexion about how one can feel calm and happy despite troubles, worries and deceptions in life.

The thought actually came to me when I had a conversation with a friend. It happens to some people to develop a non-violent attitude during adverse situations and still come out of these fully contented with life.

The question arose whether such attitude is not only a consequence of suppressing one’s anger, frustration or pain which later on can burst out suddenly.

Quite elusive, I’d say, so I went on some self-introspection (as usual 🙂 ). Amazed myself, by this strange calmness and happiness that I feel even if times have been bad, I began to wonder whether I’m faking it or not. Am I doing it on purpose to feel happy and suppress negative feelings?

The answer came in some reading I did. It is absolutely possible to go through hardships and still remain calm and joyful once you’ve accepted that what is happening is part of your life’s journey. Besides, it takes to have a different perception of things. If I had limited myself to the dark and sad side of the situation, I’d be long lost into depression. However, I’ve developed a need to analyse situations in every angle, specially their bright ones. This is also where the different people in your life become crucial. Each individual has a different approach to life and I’ve been able to learn from that.

Hence, I’m not faking it. Every emotion is real and my happiness is genuine. I’m not saying that I’m not hurt but my joy and satisfaction to be alive is far beyond my pain. Besides, every hardship in life is meant to show us that everything’s not granted or given and if you’ve overcome it, you’ve come further from being a simple human being to a knowledgeable and stronger one.

Being your own healer

In General thoughts on January 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

It’s too easy to depend on others to give us that cure we need to feel better. It’s also too damaging for relationships you share with those people.

Why damaging? Because the more you depend on someone, the more you’ll need that person by your side and when he/she is caught up somewhere, you’ll feel abandoned and lost. It gradually fills up bitterness and makes you doubt the feelings of that person.

I am not voicing out that you should reject the compassion or support of a close one. On contrary, having the care and love of our dear ones gives us those wings we need to fly higher. Yet, becoming dependent on them makes those wings weak.

Hence, at times, it’s good to be self-dependent and find cures to our sorrows on our own. In the end, you might as well be very surprised as you’ll not only be your own healer but others’ too!

Besides, this universe is so vast and huge, learn to connect with it and never feel lonely again. If you awake to those cosmic energies (no, I haven’t smoked weeds), you’ll find that healing strength on your own. It’s all scientific in nature. We are made up of energy that keeps us alive and energy flows all around us in different forms. Synchronising ourselves to those energies, helps us to be in phase with them and hence feel stronger and no more lonely.

I know, some of you might be asking « But how do we connect to those energies??? » I’d really like to explain it to you but my level of experience is limited for the time being. All I can do for now is guide you and share this with you.

The first step maybe should be a willingness to search for yourself, deep inside and seek for that strength that lies deep in you, waiting to be released. It does take time and patience. Develop the values of humility, love and peace and learn to appreciate this world and what it offers. Let your mind accept differences and develop tolerance. Forget jealousy, anger and hatred. See how useless it is to get lost in the maze of anxieties and rage. Above all, see the preciousness of life itself and feel that urge to make the most of it as long as you are alive!

2011 – “I hate you, like I love you”

In General thoughts, In my mind on December 30, 2011 at 7:11 am

While people have been dreading 2012 for its prophesied end of the world, I’ve myself personally experienced the end of a world – mine more specifically. However, we tend to forget that every ending brings along new beginnings.

Hence 2011 brought about a terrible crash that slowly made me realise how life can be more beautiful once you’ve burnt, hurt and felt the true reality of it. It is often said that you can’t realise the value of what you have until you lose it. It is indeed true. Harsh times wake you up and forge your inner strength.

Life is that on-going training you receive to face whatever is coming ahead and the more you realise yourself and awaken your inner self, you find the way to follow to brightness and happiness.

With 2011 ending soon, I feel strangely more at peace with myself than I’d think. The bitter sorrows have faded to sweet contentment. Sure there are reasons for this to happen but the journey to that peace of mind wasn’t smooth at all. It is the relief you feel after going through storms, hurricanes, fires and crashes and realise that you can actually survive it all and that you’re not totally alone.

God helps those who help themselves. Indeed it is true, I’ve experienced it. I’ve been blessed with very special people who have been there to help the re-building of my lost world. Today, it is the best refuge I’ve ever had. I learnt about being on my own, about being my own support first and I’ve seen that sparkle in me die to revive as a stronger and brighter one.

Hence, I might very well say that I’m thankful for the pain and hard times. It came as an opportunity for self-discovery and transformation. Luckily I found treasured assistance from angels that came along my path. I’ve been hurt and pained but today I feel the preciousness of life and the intense joy of living it for it also gifted me with most wonderful times of my life. Farewell 2011 and thank you again!

N.B: This article marks my last one for 2011 as well as my 100th on SouOnline. Thank you beautiful people who inspire me and make life a gift to appreciate everyday !!!

Defining Bliss

In General thoughts on December 22, 2011 at 7:27 am

Photography courtesy of Kamlesh Jeeneea

Once again, I will not attempt to preach or deliver some discourse about any mysterious truth of life.

I will simply define the feeling of full satisfaction with life that one simple girl like me has and is experiencing.

No, bliss is not a myth nor is it impossible to attain and yes it involves living with a non-materialistic perspective.

I will not state that I’m fully out of the material world – yes I have cravings too! Yet, I’ve been able to find the silver line that demarks material and non-material life.

The most important factor would be to find peace inside of your mind. Peace does not mean having no worries. It means even if your life is troublesome (whose isn’t?) you are being able to accept it, deal with it and solve it with the best smile you’ve ever had. Some help and support are crucial in this endeavour. Therefore comes the second factor for bliss – love! Fill your heart with love, first for yourself then for others. Experience, then, its wonderful power. Don’t be mistaken though. Love is a deep value that this modern world has trivialised. Reach for the genuine one, that’s lying somewhere in a forgotten corner of your heart and let it free!

There you are, live it up now! Make the most of it. Seek for no more than the sweet feeling of contentment every morning you wake up till you sleep. No need for weeds brother 😉 It’s all inside of you, seek and find it! Bliss is the gift of appreciation you receive once you’ve found the beauty of being alive and human.

Loving – the guys’ way

In In my mind on November 30, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Even if guys have feelings and emotions, they have that wonderful ability to still think logically and separate emotions from practical living with amazing calm.

They might have a storm raging inside them but you’d hardly see it if they choose to hide it from you. Unless, the bond you share with them is strong to decipher them right from a look.

They might not go crazy and hazy like us, screaming and hopping when we fall in love (ok not all girls do that but still we go ecstatic) but they might be those who are intensely loving someone- may be more than us.

I completely admire that special trait of you guys. How you manage to keep your composure in front of her, how you keep your calm and act so cool even if there’s an urge to tell what you feel. I think it’s the harder way to love, yet you do it so well.

And that’s actually how you identify true love in guys. The one they feel silently, the one they first take time to assimilate for themselves, the one that invades them but over which they have full control.

Then the day they step forward to spell it out, it comes like a wind of fresh air that surprises you on a very warm day. There’s no way to run from it or hide from it. The intentions are so pure and heartfelt that you are bound to melt.

Loving the guys’ way is intensely beautiful: a mixture of passion, patience, tenderness and calm. It’s that one state of mind that makes a man/guy the best person he could be as he’s discovered what real love can be…

A moment lost in time

In In my mind on November 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm

For a few instants, let me take you to that moment where everything stops and stands still. That very point in time where you stop being part of the world but live in a particularly intense moment in your lifetime that’s gonna last forever no matter what.

Would you share it with me? Would you let all worries behind you, the time of a moment together?

There’s no particular preparation, come as you are. There’s no particular location,let’s be where you are. There are no particular words to say, let’s enjoy the very presence of each other.

This magical feeling won’t work with anyone but you. That special feeling of being captured in a lost moment, a moment that’s never to come again but that’s gonna remain in our minds always.

There’s no need for music, your voice is the sweetest melody right now. There’s no need for great food, your talks are all that would satiate me.  There’s no need for an extravagant venue, your presence makes any place the best place to be.

There’s no need for special bright lights, smile and make my world shine. There’s no need for any splendid view, the depth of your eyes is all that matters. There’s no need for perfect weather, having you next to me is the best season of the year.

So would you? Would you share this wonderful moment with me? Immersed in nothing but the very existence of you and me.

Give it a try and see how fine it is to be. Give me just this moment to be fully lost and ever happy…

Intoxicated

In General thoughts on November 19, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Those of you who understand creole will find it either iconic that Sou writes about intoxication or maybe ironic. (Sou in creole means being in a drunken state)

Rest assured friends, this intoxication ain’t vicious or obnoxious (or is it?).

I believe it’s the worst of all. Why? Let me first describe what kind of intoxication I’m referring to here. It’s an age old addiction that strikes without warning, that kicks you off so bad, waking up from it becomes very difficult.

It’s that very intoxication that keeps you wide awake. Makes you hyper and in one second makes you desperate. Its such an addiction that wherever you go, your mind is focused on it. Everywhere, every time your thoughts revolve around it.

I believe by now, some might have had a guess at what I’m describing, while others are totally lost. I’m actually discussing about that thing they call love or attraction or infatuation – it still has to be diagnosed in my case.

And if this is the worst intoxication,  it’s because there ain’t any dis-intoxication for that. You might very well try to think of other things, distance yourself or even discourage yourself about pursuing with that endeavour but it’s completely useless.

Someone told me once that the heart is stubborn. I’m literally agreeing to that, after days of fighting between my mind and heart. There ain’t any compromise found yet. It will either kill me or save me. Time only will tell.

Don’t think that it happens to only emotional fools. Oh no! It’s so unpredictable, I’m still wondering how and when it happened.

It’s so intoxicating, it’s making me useless. Ironically, at first, I was not elated by this truth but got totally lost. Lost in a maze of questions, hopes and fears. Yet, I’ve found that accepting it is the best I could do. Making it my strength and reason to feel good every day. Yes, I’m lost in that intoxication but I’m happy it struck me. I’m happy for the different vision of life it brings me. Though I haven’t figured out how this will evolve, I’m trying an age old cure to that : patience. Hoping this intoxication doesn’t make me weak and desperate again…

More than a friend, yet not a lover

In In my mind on November 16, 2011 at 9:49 am

You’ve been one of those surprises of life

Which unfold themselves slowly with time,

Evoking admiration, affection and decline

For yet another person in my heart.

Yet you’ve been that light and shine,

That support when I’ve been hanging on the line,

That wish for staying a bit more alive,

That reason that made me smile…

This might seem like a love declaration,

Yes, it is but I wish it to remain pure,

To keep its innocence and initial essence

As my love for you is only sweet affection.

How do we describe it, how is it called,

This I’m not being able to decide.

In such short time, we’ve been laughing,

Crying and sharing so much emotions.

It might be this emotional fool in me

That’s making all this fuss about you and me,

Yet now that our ways are to part,

To you I had to pour my heart.

Thank you for the sunny days,

The smile on your face,

And the deep look in your eyes.

All those special things that make you

More than a friend, yet not a lover…