A boy and a girl, together

In General thoughts on October 2, 2010 at 4:16 pm

I bet many of you who read the title immediately thought of some love story. No, this is not about romance or love. It’s a reflection about how the human mind quickly jumps to conclusions plus the consequences of living in a little island, still tightly attached to its traditional opinions.

I’ve noticed it’s pretty common to hear people talk about seeing some girl with some guy (or vice-versa) and deducing that they are dating each other. The fact that they might only be friends is far too incongruous to accept. Well, so it seems…

It even happened to me that a good friend of mine was mistaken for my boyfriend. Being the only person I already know in my masters class, I’ve been talking and sitting next to him since the beginning. It was not much to my astonishment that the idea of us being boyfriend/girlfriend grew in others’ mind. Yet, I still find it so incredibly easy for people to judge by appearance. I hold no grudge against anyone, rest assured. It’s just that the very thought of how quick a judgement is made that kind of irritates me.

The reason behind my irritation is that with such reaction from others, girls very easily gain all kinds of reputation, specially in our traditional society. I know the new generations are more open to all these issues. However, no matter in which century we are , the image of a girl will always remain fragile and easy to destroy.

Does it mean that we should stop walking in public with our male friends? I believe it is indeed hypocritical to accept seeing 2 girls or 2 boys together and have no hind thoughts! It’s time to think beyond those ‘gender limits’. A boy and a girl together does not limit itself to a love affair. There’s a human factor that is being ignored. Friendship is not limited to same genders. Once you’ve been able to understand someone beyond his/her sex, you’ve reached a special level of friendship – which involves mutual respect, closeness and maturity.

I believe that no one is to be blamed. It is a result of a conservative mindset, a legacy of our traditional society. Things will and can only change when firstly young people behave more responsibly, by knowing where’s the line between friendship, love and sex. And secondly, when we all will come to accept in our minds that a boy and a girl can very well be friends without any thing more in between them…


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